Happy Mother's Day!!!

Craig and I had the privilege of speaking in sacrament today for Mother's Day. I felt impressed to speak about birth mother's. As I was preparing my talk I cried quite a bit...and when I gave my talk, I cried even more. Our birth mother Jen has been a huge blessing in our lives, and we owe so much to her for the gift that she gave us. I wanted to recognize her and the other birth mother's for the great sacrifice they have made for making us the mother's we are today. We love you Jen.


Mother's day is a time of celebration and a day to honor all those who have molded and shaped our lives. Whether they be our mother, grandmother, great grandmother, or mother-in-law. But there is also another special type of mother I would like to recognize this day, and that is birth mothers. I feel overcome with great humility and gratitude in my heart to be able to speak to you at such a time. This is a topic so dear to my heart as I have recently become a mother through the wonderful blessing of adoption. The story of how our baby girl came into our lives is one I will always remember, and one her birth mother will never forget.



Since the time I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. I took every opportunity I could to spend time with my nieces and nephews, and waited for the day that I could call a child my own. When my time came I thought I had everything planned out in my life, and straight and narrow was the course. I would be married in the temple for all eternity to a man I loved, raise strong children in the gospel, and grow old with my family. The day I married Craig was a joyous occasion and day of celebration. It marked the day I began my own forever family. As time moved forward, the urgency I felt to begin adding upon our family more than consumed me. One year went by, two years, three, and then four. My whole heart and soul longed for a child, and instead I was left with the aching throb of the emptiness I felt within me. After seeking the help of doctors, and going through painful procedures, it was still unknown as to why I could not have children. Throughout this time, I would spend many nights crying myself to sleep while my husband could do nothing but hold me and try to console my pain. I was tired of hoping for something that might not happen, and tried to convince myself to accept the fact that I may never be a mother.



And so it goes, we make plans in our lives, but sometimes the Lord has another. Craig and I had always talked of adopting one day, and a few summers back we had adoption papers in hand. But for some reason unknown to me at the time, I felt that we should hold off on turning them in. I couldn't understand such an answer as I had already waited long enough for a child, and we had been told that sometimes it could take a year or more before a baby could be placed in your home. I knew there was a baby girl who was supposed to be in our family, and I tried to wait patiently for that time to come. After much prayer and consideration we finally received the answer I had been waiting for. In May of 2009 Craig and I applied for adoption and were approved two months later. On Sept. 1st we received an email from a birth mother who was due in December with a baby girl. Her name was Jen, and little did we know how much she was going to change our lives. Exactly one month later she announced that she was going to place her baby with us. During the next months ahead, I watched as Jen's belly grew bigger, along with the love I had for her. She was going to give me something that no one else could give. She was giving me the gift of being a mother.



A few nights before Elizabeth was born, Craig and I attended a performance of "The Forgotten Carols". One song in particular struck me so deeply with the message it conveyed that it brought me to tears. For those of you who know this beautiful music, you will recognize the following lyrics:



"All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of, everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for, couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given, I've been given what I need. Even when I didn't understand, when I thought you had no heart. Thank you for rejecting my demands, and always giving me the better part."



On December 13th, 2009 Craig and I began our journey on a rainy Sunday morning to the hospital to pick up our baby girl who had just been born two days earlier and bring her home. We both knew that the day ahead would bring tears of pain, tears of sorrow, but also tears of joy. Upon arrival we met with our caseworker while Jen spent time with Elizabeth, holding her, rocking her, and saying her goodbyes. After all necessary papers had been signed, we entered Jen's room and upon seeing her holding Elizabeth with tears in her eyes, my heart swelled with the love for the mother who stood before me. With this act of love, I was aware that a birth mother is one who puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart. As to those who asked Jen why she would give up her child, she would always reply, "I'm not giving up my child, I'm giving her something better." When the time came for Jen to place Elizabeth in my arms, I was softly reminded of the words she had once spoken to me, "From God's Arms To My Arms To Yours." Many tears were shed and warm embraces shared when we said goodbye that day. After Jen had gathered her belongings, I watched as she walked down the hall with her parents by her side, never looking back. The sacrifice she had made that day was greater than any I had ever known. I looked down at the miracle I held, and felt my husband's love surround me. I cried and thought to myself, "My arms are empty no more."



Motherhood has been everything I have ever hoped for and more. It is not easy, but I would not have it any other way. As I look upon my daughter each day, I'm reminded of Jen and the sacrifice that she made. I recently came across an article entitled "My Daughter's Choice" from the December 2004 Ensign. It is about a father of a birth mother, and his experience of watching his daughter and the difficult decision that she made. It touched me deeply as it brought back memories of my last day in the hospital with Jen, and I would like to share a few excerpts with you:



When my daughter discovered she was expecting, she was dismayed to realize that her path to repentance and forgiveness was going to require a great sacrifice. She determined to carry the baby to term and place it for adoption with a worthy couple through LDS Family Services. When she broke the news of her pregnancy to my wife and me, we were extremely saddened by the choices she had made that brought her to this point. Nevertheless, her commitment to place the baby for adoption and her desire to change gave us hope that she might at last come back and partake of the blessings of the gospel. As she worked with LDS Family Services to choose an adoptive family, she scanned through the applicants’ profiles and was instantly drawn to a particular couple. She felt a confirmation of the Holy Ghost that this was the couple who would lovingly raise this baby. During this time, she worked hard at reading her scriptures daily and offering fervent prayers that included her pleas for forgiveness. Finally the day arrived when the baby would be born. Now the time began that would be most difficult for us all and particularly heartrending for our daughter. That day she asked me to write a letter that could be given to this child at some future time by his parents, if they so chose. This is some of what I wrote:



“Dear Grandson,



“I write this letter not knowing if or when you might read these words. I’m sitting at a table while close by your birth mother is rocking you in her arms. Tomorrow she will lay you in the arms of your adoptive mother and father, to whom you will be sealed in the temple of our God. This will be the hardest thing your birth mother has ever done. I know because I see the love that she has for you. She loves you so much that she is willing to make this sacrifice in order that you might be brought up now by a wonderful couple with the blessings that a temple sealing can bring.”



“This decision was made entirely on her own. ‘Why?’ you might ask. Because she knew in her heart that there were some things that she could not yet give you. She could, of course, provide you with food and shelter. Nevertheless, she could not give you a father worthy to raise you. She could not give you the blessings of the temple covenant, as your parents will be able to do. “So, while she could have given you love, she loved you enough to give you more. This is the difference between a selfish love and a godly love. …“I sincerely hope that you appreciate the love of your parents and the love of a birth mother whom I am blessed to know as a daughter. I know that tomorrow will break her heart, realizing that she may not see you again in this earth life. I also know that she has the strength to do so because of the Holy Spirit, which will sustain her, and the knowledge she has of the wonderful couple into whose arms she will place you tomorrow.”



As I finished the letter, I signed it,



“Love,



“Your Other Grandfather.”



The day after I wrote this letter, we traveled with heavy hearts to the place where we would see this child for possibly the last time in this life. While we waited to meet the adoptive couple—my daughter had met them before—we sat in almost total silence. I wondered if she had the strength to complete this great sacrifice. I watched her as she gazed into the baby’s eyes; she was almost too choked up to talk. Her mother and I could hardly bear to watch. Finally it was time for us to walk into the room where the adoptive couple waited. Instantly their eyes were drawn to the baby, and tears began to flow. I felt at peace as I watched them hug our daughter. When she placed the baby into the arms of the adoptive mother, my heart went out to my daughter, and I could’t decide whether to weep for the pain I knew this was causing her or for the joy this sweet couple was feeling. In the end, the Spirit gave great comfort to my daughter, my wife, and me. We knew that God had accepted this sacrifice, that this child would be greatly loved, and that this was in accordance with the will of our Father in Heaven.

An adoptive couple once said, "We believe birth mother's have a right to choose, if she has the courage to place, she has the wisdom and right to choose her child's parents. Our daughters birth mother is her first Mother." And so it goes with our daughter Elizabeth, Jen will always be her first mother. And as my daughter grows, I will always help her remember, "Never never never will she stop loving you". I would like to close my talk with a special poem that was given to us on the day our birth mother announced to our families that she would be placing her baby girl with us.

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
Two different lives shaped
To make your one;
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
The first gave you life,
The second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you up,
It was all she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years;
Heredity or Environment,
Which are you a product of?
Neither my darling, neither;
Just two different kinds of love.

May we all remember the true gift of this day. It is not in the flowers we receive, or the cards we may read. The best gift we could receive is one we already have; and that is being a mother.



And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

"My How Time Flies When You're Having Fun"

So yesterday was Elizabeth's 3 month mark! I know you hear everyone say this, but it feels like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital. Her looks and personality seem to change everyday, so you have to be careful and not blink too much around her! LOL. She is starting to talk more and is learning new words, although we have no idea what she is saying. We figure as long as she has a smile on her face then she is having a pretty good day. And that seems to happen a lot! She has also been drooling tons! We wonder if she is starting to teeth, although nothing may come through for months. Until then I'm thinking of having her wear a small teething bib so she doesn't constantly soak her clothes. It also helps that she has been sleeping through the night which makes things a whole lot easier on Craig and I. To celebrate this wonderful occasion, we decided to move her into the nursery. She has been needing her own space, and seems to love it! It took me two days to get her bedroom ready, and this is how it all turned out. Of course you will notice the theme of "Peter Pan" and "Tinkerbell" in the pictures. I have collected all these items since I was a little girl in hopes of using it to decorate a nursery for my baby. I'm so happy it has finally come to pass.


It's nice to finally have a routine down and know what to plan for every day. Lizzy's is usually in bed by 9:00 pm, so we start to give her a bath @ 8:00 pm, feed her, and then rock her to sleep. Sometimes she enjoys having us read to her before we place her in the crib. She loves looking at the pictures and hearing our voices. She definitely knows who her mommy and daddy are. :) Each day that passes I love being a stay-at-home mommy even more. :) Being able to spend so much time with my child I feel is such an honor. I'm grateful to Craig for being able to provide for our family so I don't have to work. I believe that nothing is more important than having a mother in the home. That being said, I also thought staying at home would mean more time to get other things done. I was so wrong! LOL. Elizabeth takes up a lot of my time, but I don't mind one bit. :) When I do get some time on my hands, I like to work on small projects around the house. I have started a bit on Lizzy's scrapbook, but as you can see, I haven't gotten much done. I will probably only scrapbook her birth and adoption story, etc. But the rest of her pictures I will probably just put in a photo album as I have tons of them!
One activity Elizabeth has enjoyed lately is going on stroller rides. I recently took her on a trip to Las Vegas with my parents to visit my brother and his family this past weekend. I tested her out in the umbrella stroller before we left to make sure she would fit, and sure enough she fit well! LOL.
On Valentine's Day, Grandpa and Grandma Miner gave Elizabeth a cute card with money in it along with a stuffed kitty rattle and a counting book. That kitty stays with Liz at all times when she is in her carseat. That along with her pacifier, blanky, and kitty are her coveted comfort items. She must have them to be able to take her nap! LOL. With the Valentine's money from Grandpa and Grandma we bought Elizabeth a "Tummy Time Mat". She hated it at first but can now go 10 minutes before she starts to scream. :)



Liz sure enjoyed visiting her aunt, uncle, and counsins down in Vegas, and I'm sure they loved seeing her as well. :) Liz did pretty good on the drive down and back. If she ever started to get fussy, I just put on her Disneyland Sing-Along or Sleeping Beauty and she was good to go. Either that or she had to be eating a bottle. :) Here are some pictures I took to remember our trip.




Upon returning from our trip, the following day I was scheduled to get some oral surgery done. I have not been looking forward to this since the day my dentist told me that the root canal I had done by another office extended the root too long into my sinuses, and I would probably have to get surgery done in the future to correct it as it would soon start causing me pain. That was over two years ago. I would experience pain off and on since then, but nothing too terrible. The night Elizabeth was born, the pain started to be more frequent, and I would take Ibprofen to spell it off. A week later I woke up one morning with such horendous pain, and no medicine would help! I called the dentist but they could not fit me in that day. I went back into our bedroom and cried to Craig because of the pain, and I hadn't been able to sleep all night long. Craig called the dentist back and got me in that afternoon. I thought I would be getting the surgery done that day, but they ended up giving me ANOTHER root canal on the same tooth and cleaned it out. They then scheduled me a month later for my oral surgery as the doctor who does it is only in once a month. I was not too happy about this considering I "had" to get it done due to a botched root canal. Then again, who willingly gets any type of surgery done?! It went by fairly fast for me since I was put out for the procedure, but Craig said he was waiting about 2 hours in the waiting room with Elizabeth while she slept most of the time. Then next thing I know is waking up in a chair with Craig in front of me (I have no idea how I got there). The recovery has been more uncomfortable than painful. They gave me a whole bunch of perscriptions to take, which I don't like taking either. I hate it anytime I have to take any form of medicine to feel better. The swelling on the left side of my mouth has gone down some now, but the stitches on the inside are bothersome and make it hard to eat. I was pretty ornery the first few days when I could only eat diet shakes and oatmeal. Bleh. I hope this will be the end to my bad root canal, and I will be more cautious in the future of who does it if I ever need another one.


Hope everyone is doing happy and well. Feel free to leave any comments, we would love to hear from you! :)

"Keeping It Real"

So to update everyone on what has happened this past week at the Gourley's, I'll start with the most shocking event that has taken place. Well, at least it was shocking for me to say the least. On Friday before Elizabeth's doctor appointment, we dropped off our dogs to the groomer's for a bath and brush. I made the appointment about a month ago, and told them specifically it was just for a bath/brush. Later on Friday in the afternoon the groomer called asking if we want the dogs tails shaved as well. My jaw drops and I'm speechless for about a minute until I find the words to ask, "You didn't shave our dogs did you???" To which they replied, "Well....yes." At this point I'm FREAKING out and lost all words. After getting off the phone, I start to literally cry to Craig telling him that the groomer "accidentally" shaved the dogs! I was so upset as it's the middle of winter, and honestly, who shaves a dog during the middle of winter?!? I decided to immediately go see the manager, and she didn't help much either. She preceded to tell me that it was my husband's fault as he didn't specify what needed to be done, and they usually do the same thing that was done at the last appointment. Well, that was last summer when we did have the dogs shaved! You wouldn't think Craig would need to explain anything when he was just dropping off the dogs, and I was the one who made the appointment telling them EXACTLY what was to be done. But this takes the cake...the manager tried to console me by saying, "Don't worry, their hair will grow back in 2 months or so. We do have some lovely dog coats that I could sell to you for 25% off the listed price." Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! (Me screaming) So all in all we have two naked dogs whose hair will grow back by this summer, which will be the time they should have been shaved! Until then, they're wearing those "lovely" coats that we got for 25% off.



On a lighter note, Friday as I had mentioned was also Lizzy's 2 month check up at the doctor. She is now 11 pounds 10 ounces and 23-1/2" long! Our little girl is growing like a weed, and is changing every day. I'm proud to show her off to all, and even more proud that I'm her mommy. I've had many people tell me she actually looks a lot like me, and others have said she looks like my brother Austin. Regardless of who she looks like, she is my little red headed Liz. And as I've said many times before, she has the attitude to go with it. With her trip to the doctor also came an immunization. I wasn't too happy about this, and I'm sure with Elizabeth the feeling was mutual. She had to get the Hib shot this time around, and when I say she "had to", I mean it was against my will. As Liz is adopted, we're forced to get all immunizations as required by the CDC schedule until the adoption is finalized and she is in our full custody. It takes six months from birth until finalization, so when that happens, NO MORE SHOTS. Until then, I guess I just have to put up with it. We have also been trying to get Elizabeth to lay on her belly more often to exercise her neck and shoulder muscles, but she only seems to last a few minutes before she erupts in cries refusing to lay there any longer. She is definitely a "back baby", but if there is anyone who has any advice as to getting Lizzy to more fully "enjoy" her belly time, feel free to share! There is one thing she does love for sure though, and that is her daddy.

Next month will mark the first road trip for our little Lizzy. I'll be heading down to Las Vegas with my parents to visit my brother and his family. Craig will be staying behind as he can't leave work. I'm sure Elizabeth will be looking forward to seeing her cousins though! Hopefully the ride down will agree with her as much as the ride back. As long as the car is in motion she will usually sleep. It's when you have to stop that she tends to get fussy. This weekend we also received a small package from my brother Jordan who is serving a mission in the North Atlanta, Georgia mission. As of right now he is in a city called "Jasper" and is doing wonderfully! Being the sweetheart he is, in the package he sent was a small plaque which included the following note: "Hey Sista! Hope ya like this! We were in the Hallmark Store on main street in Jasper and I saw this and thought of my wonderful sister who love Peter Pan with a passion! Haha...So here is to add to your Pan room. :) You can probably just call it a congrats on becoming a mommy gift. Enjoy! :) LOVE YA SIS!"

To close, remember no matter how hard life gets...all you need is faith, trust...and a little bit of pixie dust.

Our Baby Girl

So I have finally gotten around to updating our blog! As most of you all know our beautiful baby girl, Elizabeth Grace Gourley, was born on December 11th, 2009 at Utah Valley Regional Hospital @ 1:20 am in the morning. She was 7 pounds even, and was 20-1/2" long. Our birth mom Jen went through much pain to bring Lizzy into this world, and we're eternally grateful for the sacrifice that she made for us. Not only did she become our Angel, but she gave us one too.







On the evening of December 13th Craig and I were able to take Elizabeth home from the hospital. Being that it was winter time, it was cold and rainy on the drive back. Our little Elizabeth is perfect in every way, and she is the greatest gift Craig and I have ever received. We cannot wait until we get to have our precious baby girl sealed to us in the temple this coming summer. This was all made possible by our Heavenly Father and our wonderful birth mom Jen...thank you for giving me all I need.